I felt better in prison than outside.

Saint Sophian of Antim speaks to us († September 16)

- Father Sophian, theoretically we know how beneficial it is to be humble. How can we make ourselves feel this?

- It's a very difficult and very necessary problem. The Fathers of the Paterikon teach us that humility is divine and can only be acquired through the keeping of the commandments, through their fulfillment.

If we want to be humble, let us keep the Christian precepts. When you encounter the New Testament at home, read the Savior's Sermon on the Mount, which is found in chapters 5, 6, and 7 of the Gospel according to Matthew. There it speaks of humility, it speaks of fasting, it speaks of generosity, self-giving, it speaks of keeping the body in purity, this temple of the Holy Spirit within us. Many, starting from youth, pervert their bodies, and have this answer for their parents: "Let me live my life!" What is life for them? Partying, debauchery, luxury, and unbelief. They have no need for God.

I have told you what conditions are required of us to be humble, but it depends on each of us to fulfill them. A Father from the Paterikon says: "The labors of the body matter greatly for acquiring humility." That is, fasting, prostrations, this bodily and spiritual asceticism, guarding the eyes so as not to see the vanities of life, guarding the mouth so as not to speak evil words: "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" (Psalm 140:3), as we sing at the evening service. Empty your hearts, Christian brothers, of all that is evil – we realize ourselves what is evil within us! – and you will acquire this peace of soul, this rest in the Lord Jesus Christ. You will acquire this humility, with the help of divine grace, with the help of spiritual and bodily struggles.

Nudges to cleanse us of pride

- How did you practice humility in the hell of communist prisons?

- In the communist prisons, where I stayed for several years, all those who were in the cell with me prayed, repented, confessed their sins, regretted; they were people on this path of repentance. They were humble, decorous, and lived a Christian life.

I honestly tell you that I often felt better in prison than outside. From a young age, I have been in the monastery, and here I had everything I needed for my bodily and spiritual life. In prison, it was pretty much the same situation – we had the bare necessities to get by from one day to the next. There was a life there with spiritual concerns. Texts from Holy Scripture were learned by heart, at a time when not even a scrap of paper or a pencil tip was allowed into the prison. On the sole of a boot, greased with some soap foam, they would write with a nail that had been stolen from outside. And so a text from Matthew's Gospel, a text from John's Gospel, from the Epistle of James was written. And how were these texts found? Tap, tap, tap – with Morse code, through the wall! There were older prisoners who had seen the times when the Bible was allowed into prison, and they had learned texts from it then, they had learned these holy things and transmitted them by ear, through Morse code, through the wall – that's how they could be learned. They would write down a short text learned by heart, after each had first written it on the tablet of the heart and memory. Thus they learned these holy texts with these very poor means.

There was a Christian atmosphere in prison. All the insults from the interrogations were nudges to cleanse us of pride. You were humble out of necessity, but we are asked to be humble willingly. If we are not humble willingly, others from outside humble us, insult us, and say all sorts of harsh words to us. Thus there was a humble atmosphere in prison. Humility out of necessity, but also willingly, because, in the troubles there, almost everyone felt the peace of Jesus alive in their heart.

When humiliation becomes humility

- Regarding the situation in prison and beyond, what would be the difference between being humble and being humiliated?

- They help each other. If, because of pride, we don't like being humiliated, it's a suffering, because we don't accept humiliation. Imagine someone calling me stupid and all the rest, and I not reacting, not defending myself! However, only when we accept these external humiliations do we reach humility. If you don't accept them, you live in suffering.

There is a closeness between humiliation and humility, because through humiliation comes humility, if the humiliation is accepted from within. The Savior was humiliated by people. But He was also humble through His Divinity, the source of His humility and love. If humiliation is not accepted, a revolt comes within us. If humiliation is accepted, it becomes humility and then it is united with prayer and you pray for your enemy who humiliated you. If you reach this state, you have humility and you carry it before God.

From "Father Sofian – Humility and Love, the Hallmarks of Orthodox Faith"

Ed. Doxologia, 2022