Monasticism and Marriage – Two Paths to Sanctification

Archimandrite Elisei Simonopetritu speaks to usl

- Geronda, much has been said about marriage and monasticism, as well as about the differences between them. After all, are monasticism and marriage really that different as ways of life? Are there points where they converge? Are there also things where they can't reconcile for anything in the world?

Abbot Elisei: On the contrary! They converge in many points; I say this knowingly and from what I know from Geronda Emilianos [Simonopetritul]: there can be certain differences between marriage and monasticism regarding quality and quantity, but these concern the level of quality - how shall we say? - the level of life's quality. Of course, it is said that monasticism, virginity, is something superior. However, this essentially exists neither in the Bible nor in the Fathers, if you read carefully enough. Christ did not say not to marry; as a rule, everyone marries, and monasticism is an exception, in fact...

- A charism.

Abbot Elisei: A charism. It is an exception. He said: “It doesn't suit you, it's not worth getting married,” he didn't say: “Don't get married. Where are you going to get entangled with marriage?” And it is also said that marriage is indissoluble - and it is indissoluble, it's true, but in the end, it will still dissolve. And then the disciples answered Him: “Then it's not worth getting married,” and Christ answered them: “Not everyone understands these things.” Few are those who understand, and that is why those few also understand monastic life, that is, apostolic life.

What do I mean by that? That they are two parallel paths, they are not two different paths. They cannot be two different paths, so that you can make value-based or comparative or accounting choices. I consider it an accounting vision that places monasticism on one side and marriage on the other. I believe they are two parallel paths, in accordance with the life of the Church, in accordance with human freedom, love, and desire. This must be respected and valid for everyone. They are two parallel paths, and I must tell you exactly how Geronda Emilianos formulates this, this parallelism. Two independent paths, we cannot say that this way is better, or otherwise is better. Monasticism has certain characteristics and moves in that direction. The same goes for marriage.

But what happens? And this is very important. Everything we do represents, symbolizes something either from the past or from the future. What does monasticism represent? Monasticism represents... In other words, at this moment, why do we follow monasticism and deprive ourselves of all these things of life in the world? I'm not saying these things are anything special, but it is said, for example, that in the world you have a certain ease, you don't have to obey, you are free and so on, and so on. We foreshadow something, we do nothing else, we are not much better than you, we are often even more idiorhythmic, more sinful, I might say. But we foreshadow life in Paradise before the fall. Right? It says: “Look, once there was this life that we foreshadow. Once this existed.” This thing, this life, then, Christ brought back. And what is its purest form? Monasticism.

What does marriage foreshadow? Marriage, too, foreshadows life in Paradise, namely that relationship between the two, their common life, and the wedding foreshadows this. And what does it foreshadow? Why does it say “one flesh”? What does that mean? It means that even in marriage there is a virginal life. That is why we say, we try to answer the question of why people should not have sexual relations before marriage. You no longer foreshadow anything if you are, like, a libertine, and wander hither and thither. The two have become one flesh, and this foreshadows Paradise. Who is Paradise? The man and the woman. “Who is your Paradise?” “My wife,” he answers.

This way of union prefigures that life, in another way. Monasticism prefigures life before the fall, marriage prefigures life in Paradise, the way the relationship between the two was in Paradise, and precisely for that reason, you see, let's say, I who am a monk and you are married and you tell me: "Soon we will have a child!". And I say to you: "Oh, what joy!". I say this - I, who am a monk. And why do I say it? Because I fully agree, and this is joy, this is a prefiguration of Paradise.

Therefore, we, as ways of life, as children of God, are in no way different, the destination of the path is in no way different, the goal is the same – for salvation is one. What is the difference? The difference is in the path, in the way of life, this is the only difference between us, but you should know that we prefigure these things, and if we do not understand, one will always judge the other in a certain way, while, in reality, there is no such problem. We, monks, will be the strong minority.

- Beautiful...

Elder Elisei: And, to conclude this topic of the "difference" between monasticism and marriage, things will always stand this way regarding monasticism and marriage. Common points? Plenty, apart from virginity. All the others are common. That is why we understand each other so well.

A monk, if you go and ask him, has renounced his own will, he knows what that means, the cutting off of the will. A married person has also renounced his own will, both one and the other. You can be a very good university professor, but at home you have to forget that, there the masks fall, feelings manifest as they wish, words are spoken as they wish, you are no longer the professor your wife must respect, or the female professor your husband must respect, there all these masks fall.

Therefore, you wage the battle of obedience, the battle of patience, the battle of love. You must have love. The battle of accepting the other. All these do not only pertain to monastic life. You say you don't pray enough? What more can you pray for, since you suffer so much, all night for your children? Isn't that a prayer?

- Jacob Tsalikis also said this...

Elder Elisei: Yes. And, naturally, we say that family life has all the characteristics of monastic life. That is why we must say the following: what else does monasticism resemble? For a family is a family. But even a monastery, if it is not a family, is not a monastery.

From pemptousia.ro