VIDEO! Sorrow Will Turn into Joy!

Mother Siluana used to say:

All my youth I strived to befriend spiritual suffering, and until I accepted it as a teacher, I did not attain joy. And the moment I gave up trying to understand and control the world and reality through my mind, through my own understanding, then I said: "Lord! if You exist" (I had already grasped that He exists), "I no longer want to understand anything, I want to know You and to love You!".

And, in that moment, God sent one of His people to me. So do not run after Fathers, do not run after people of God, but only after God, and God will send them to your door. And I then promised God that I would make a two-year trial, and if in two years He does not offer me what I cannot obtain on my own, I will try to obtain it elsewhere. And I asked Him to make me joyful, I asked Him to love those who hate me and to forgive what I cannot forgive.

It was a beautiful struggle. I would point to some people and say: "Can You make me love this one?!", and one was hard to love, he was a security colonel, and he acted ferociously towards me, and God showed me the face of God there. That is, He performed miracles, and then I was able to fulfill what the Lord asked of me, so that I might grow in joy.

When I experienced joy, I wanted to withdraw somewhere into a monastery, somewhere to a place where I and joy could live. The moment I closed the door, joy would leave me, until I understood that those who have met joy, those who live joy, are obliged to testify about it to those whom God sends their way.

And behold a testimony of joy in this conference from May 10, 2019, in Cluj. And if we catch this from Mother, we are obliged, in our turn, to pass it on!